TRACK 01
Words of wisdom.
Life advice delivered with unmatched confidence and classic Pants charm.
★ A LEGEND YOU CAN ACTUALLY CALL ★
ASK PANTS — THE LEGEND
The stories. The wisdom. The unforgettable Pants. Now taking your calls.
(484) 917-2687
An unforgettable personality • Endless stories • An AI tribute, made with permission
★ 2008 VIDEO BOWLING CHAMP ★ MASTER STORYTELLER ★ FANTASY FOOTBALL ICON ★ LEGENDARY SINCE DAY ONE ★
THE GREATEST HITS
Experience the legend.
TRACK 02
Champion of comebacks.
Hear the legendary betting rules from the man who practically invented them.
TRACK 03
Hear a classic.
From the bowling championship to beach adventures, there's always another story.
THE BOOK OF PANTS
Rules are rules.
Unless Pants loses.
“I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A CASH BET.”— A timeless legal defense, according to Pants
- 01 / Cash bet? Apparently there was fine print.
- 02 / Lost? Invoke the “That's Bullshit” Clause.
- 03 / MMA loss? Wrong Card. Bet canceled.
- 04 / After two months, debts simply expire.
- 05 / Still arguing? Activate the Umbrella Policy.
- 06 / Last resort: Blame Peyton Manning.
NO TICKETS REQUIRED
ONE CALL.
ENDLESS NONSENSE.
Ask him about a bet. Ask him about Nags Head. Ask him what the hell he meant.
☎ CALL ASK PANTS